Published On: Sat, Oct 14th, 2017

Since my mother’s death, my father has moved to Thailand to live with a young woman

Man with Thai woman

He went straight after my mum’s funeral, leaving my brother and me to cope. He seems to have no understanding of how his behaviour has upset the family

My father, who is nearly 70, has in the last couple of years established a life for himself in Thailand and now spends more than half the year there, where he has a house and a girlfriend about 40 years his junior. My mother died three years ago, and he left for Thailand immediately after the funeral, leaving my brother and me to deal with the aftermath. My father had had a long-term affair with a young Asian woman while on business trips before Mum’s death, which created a huge amount of turbulence in the family. She forgave him, they worked it out, but she sadly died a few years later. A year after her death, my father was diagnosed with cancer while in England, which my brother and I nursed him through. He recovered and headed straight back to Thailand to continue his new life.

The lasting effect of all this is that my brother’s long-term partner cannot stand to be with my dad, as she feels his behaviour and attitude has been selfish and unacceptable, while my wife has witnessed the grief that my brother and I have suffered while he was away and has no love for him either, combined with a feeling that his reason for being in Thailand is rather seedy.

I do not begrudge him a new life, or have any major moral problem with his lifestyle (which he assures me is nothing like the stereotypes), but the thing that causes me such frustration is his lack of awareness that he may be upsetting people. He has reluctantly apologised for his behaviour after Mum died, but does not seem to understand why some people may feel continued resentment towards him, or that there might be anything untoward about his new life and how it impacts on the family. So there is now a rift in the family which is not going away and, if anything, is deepening.

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About the Author

  • I think you all should be happy that your father is happy

  • Why don’t you just get over it…..before you lose your father too….ya’ll created the “rift” by judging your father….how far have you walked in his shoes?

  • Why don’t your family visit your father and Thailand so you can see it for what it is?

  • Why not let your father enjoy the little remaining life he has? Be happy for him, not spoiled children think only for themselves!

    With your attitudes and your spouses attitudes, I’d say don’t go to Thailand you’ll only incorrectly justify your stance. Try to learn to enjoy the 50% of time he stays in your country before he decides to spend all his time in Thailand.

    Let him enjoy life!

    Brad – living in Thailand

  • Hans Loos

    Talking about selfish and unacceptable behaviour and attitude …… you might think about yourself and your partners. Your father is 70 ! diagnosed with cancer ! I Suppose you are not children anymore but grown up people. Why you and your family not change your atitude and let this man, who probably cared all your life for his kids, enjoy his last years. What a terrible family this is. Be happy for him, in a few year you will no longer have a father. You want him in his grave sad and lonely or spent his last years in a place and with somebody – maybe not his big love – with who he can enjoy life. Who are you and your family to take this away from him.

  • Eric

    This is from the Guardian newspaper. :S

  • Stevie Ray Vai

    Charles Law get on with your own life mate. I assume you have grown up ok? Why do you still need Daddy?

    • Eric

      It not Charles’s story, he just copied it from the Guardian Newspaper like every other article here.. it’s all just copy/pasted from other places.

    • John Masters

      sounds like its you who needs the daddy mate, not charles

  • baxeda

    Real weird people in that community where the man comes from. They are upset because a grown up man lives the life he wants? I’m not getting it.. Moreover can’t believe a big newspaper prints such bollocks.

  • blaine

    Haha! She is jealous of the gf. Let the man get some good blowjobs and let the lady get something in return! The man knows what he is doing and he loves it. Suck it bitch!!!

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